Episode 7, Part 2 of The Living Life Well Show: Resolutions, Goals, and BHAGS???

December 29, 2023

In this Episode, Part 2 of Resolutions, Goals and BHAGs, Dr Skelton recaps Episode 1, as well as goes into the practical steps we can take from this millenia old example from Nehemiah of living life on and with purpose.

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Episode Transcript

Episode 7, Part 2 of The Living Life Well Show: Resolutions, Goals, and BHAGs?????
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[00:00:00] Welcome to the Living Life Well Show, the intersection of God's Word, today's science, and healthy living with common sense application, all based on the truth of the Word of God. I'm your host, Dr. Jon Skelton. Now let's get straight to the truth.

Yeti Nano-1: Okay. So you're listening to part two of episode seven. Of our resolutions goals and bee hags series. These.

Yeti Nano: So if you haven't heard part one, I really recommend you go back and listen to that first. To recap that what we do is we define resolutions goals and BHAGs the way I define them. And then we also get into the story of Nehemiah and his BHAG and what he did to really accomplish something that hadn't been accomplished in over [00:01:00] 140 years.

So. I encourage you to go back and listen to that. And where we left off, as we talked about his first two steps that he took getting the vision. Number one vision is important that really helps activate any resolutions or goals that we set in place for ourself. And really that is the BHAG. And two is once you get the vision, you've got to understand it and get the go.

And so that's where we left off. So I hope you enjoy the rest of resolutions goals and BHAGs.

Yeti Nano & FaceTime HD Camera: Okay, so now you've gotten the vision. You understand the vision? And now you've gotten the go. So what you want to do now, don't wait, start. So what did Nehemiah do as soon as he got to Jerusalem? [00:02:00] He went out by himself and surveyed the entire wall. He was able to realize exactly what needed to be done. And he was able to make a great plan to get it started. So there's a couple of principles to look at as to how Nehemiah got started and how he finished the work.

So if he were just to look at that two and a half miles of wall, He would have been overwhelmed, but Nehemiah had a specific way in which he was going to proceed. Through finishing this project. So number one, he started with the eternal. You see, there were different gates and different areas within the city that were used for specific things.

So one of those gates was the sheep gate. Well, why was this? The sheep gate? The sheep gate was what was used to bring the sacrifices into the city and it was [00:03:00] closest to the temple. And so. That is really where they started, , where they finished and fortified first was the sheep gate, that representation of the eternal.

So you want to start with your spirit and make sure that you understand the purpose and make sure that you have that vision of what it is that you're ultimately doing. Okay. So you want to start with the eternal. The second area that they finished was the fish gate. The fish gate was where they brought fish into to the city which represents food, which represents our body.

And so. We want to start with. The overall. Spiritual goal that our eternal life, but then we want to start with our physical body. How are we conducting ourselves? And in our daily routines, [00:04:00] how are they being beneficial? What things are you doing to help yourself? Are you getting enough sleep? Are you eating the right kinds of foods?

And this even goes on to represent a little bit with the mind. And so. What is it that you're bringing into your body either visually? Through what you're listening to and obviously what you're eating. How is that moving you towards your ultimate vision and goal. And so assessing that and determining what those things are, those are going to be the two places that Nehemiah really started and gives us an example of. How to succeed. So practically speaking, when you're talking about the spirit and the mind. One of the first things to do is really assess your mindset.

What are your mindset, landmines? What are those resolutions or stories that you've told [00:05:00] yourself that are either hurting and in the way. Or limiting you from really getting to that full potential. And so really going through and looking at maybe those things that you've said, I never, I always, I can't, I have to those kind of statements can be the ones that can trip you up.

And so really looking at that and assessing that, understanding where that is coming from will be very beneficial to helping you move forward in the body.

Thinking about and praying about the why is going to help develop your resolve to continue with the ultimate vision. And so once you have the resolve set, then you can move on toward the body toward those practical steps. That you will employ on a quarterly, monthly, weekly. A [00:06:00] daily basis to get you to that. Ultimate vision. This is where I like to think about goals coming in. This is the SMART goals.

So smart goals, the stand for simple or specific they're measurable, they're achievable or attainable. They're realistic. And they're time-bound so let's kind of go through that. So, one goal that we could look at is say, I want to lose 25 pounds. Is that specific?

Is it, is it simple? Yes. Is it measurable? Yes. Is it achievable? Yes. Is it realistic? Yes. But is it time bound? No. So we need to go back and set a timeframe. So if I said I wanted to lose 25 pounds in one month, that is still simple. That is still specific. It's [00:07:00] measurable. Is it attainable? Well, maybe, but you would probably have to be a hundred pounds or more overweight to really try that and would take some drastic, drastic action on a daily basis to even achieve that.

So, so that's really, really not. Okay. So let's add a little bit of time, let's say okay. Three months. Okay. So now we've got a simple, specific, measurable, achievable. Yes. I think achievable is true with that. But is it realistic? Okay. So now let's back into that. So we said three months, so we've got essentially about 12 weeks.

We're wanting to lose 25 pounds. So that's about two pounds a week. So is that really realistic that we could do that?

Maybe, maybe not, again, kind of depends. If, if you only have 25 pounds to lose that may not be possible. But if you have [00:08:00] 50, 60, 70, 80, a hundred pounds to lose, yes. That very well. Maybe very realistic. And so it depends on your individual situation. And so that's where you have to go through and really assess.

Okay. So if I'm going to lose two pounds a week, that means that I have to lose a pound. Every three days, a pound is equivalent to about 3,500 calories. So what am I going to do to decrease my caloric intake or have my caloric balance off by over a thousand calories a day. Okay. Because that is an essence, what you are saying. And is that realistic to do? So you have to go through and break down those steps to really understand where it is that you're wanting to go.

Goals are going to be very good, but goals can trip you up [00:09:00] if they aren't real realistic. And they aren't really attainable. Because. When you put those in there, what happens in your mind is when your body isn't reacting the way in which your mind thinks that it should, that resolve starts to diminish that resolve starts to decrease.

This is why people get frustrated and quit, gym memberships at the beginning of February or March. And so that resolve is only going to last for so long. If you are giving yourself. Unrealistic expectations as to what needs to be done. And sometimes with this, you need help setting what is a realistic expectation, what is a realistic and attainable goal?

And so that's where brings us really to, to the next point is you've got to involve others. Okay. Nehemiah did this. The first thing he did after he [00:10:00] went around and looked at the gate. He talked to the people. He gave the people, his vision. He had essentially a time of confession as to what he wanted to have accomplished. And, in so doing what he did is he came up with that plan, , that smart goal, if you will, now, it doesn't tell us the timeframe that Nehemiah was putting forth to complete this wall in. I don't know. He may have had a very ambitious six months or a year long goal.

He may have had a two year or more goal. We, we have no idea what his timeframe was for his goal, but what Nehemiah knew was that he was going to be able to accomplish a lot more if he were to bring other people along with him. And so this really brings us to what we see in research today. We. See [00:11:00] that. People fail in their resolutions and goals because they don't involve others.

When there is a component of accountability. You are up to 80% more likely to succeed to get to that goal. And so really having other people come along beside you. Is what is going to move you forward the way Nehemiah did this is, in part, he had people just complete the portion of the wall that was in front of their house.

So sometimes that was a hundred feet. Okay. A hundred feet of an eight foot wide by eight to 16 foot tall wall. That's a lot of wall. And so. Taking even that a hundred feet. Seemed huge to those people that were doing that. Right. But what they also saw was they saw that their neighbor right next to their a hundred feet was also doing their a hundred feet and [00:12:00] so on and so forth and so on.

And so that brings you more resolve that gets you moving forward. And so when you involve others, you're going to activate that part of your brain, that a is more committed. And B is just going to enjoy that process more and is really going to be able to do those little things because you see and know other people are doing them with you. Even if they're not coming along the way. A lot of times just knowing that you have to answer to somebody. Or that somebody is kind of watching what you're doing. Helps to tend to move you forward, to create that resolve, to, to get you to that ultimate goal of where you want to be.

Involving others also helps to bring us to our next key. Which is celebrate the [00:13:00] wins, celebrate along the way, celebrate the steps that you have achieved.

Now when you involve others, you want to make sure that two things are going to be in their nature. One is that they understand that whatever it is that you're asking them to help with is part of a bigger vision for your life, for your purpose. And so. You don't want to necessarily share this with just anyone.

It's gotta be the right person, because if they don't understand or share the vision with you, They're going to be a hindrance to you. When you feel like quitting, they're going to say, okay, quit. When you, you feel like things are, , just maybe, you know, these other things over here seem a little bit more urgent.

So I need to put off the important. For the [00:14:00] urgent. They're going to let you slide. And so you want to make sure that the closest people to you, that you involved with this really understand and get that vision and are going to be a benefit to you. If that person doesn't really understand the vision. Thank them for their time.

And for listening. But. Don't keep them as an accountability partner. Don't, don't let them into , that inner voice inside your head that is either helping with resolve or hurting with resolve. Okay. So you've got to make sure that you involve the right people. There were people that tried to insert themselves into Nehemiah's project. But these guys were bad dudes. Nehemiah. Knew that. And he did not.

Let them come in. He's got this huge [00:15:00] project that's going on. And all hands on deck would have been great. And. They could have brought extra resource and even some of the people that were helping in Nehemiah's project. Recommended them. But Nehemiah was able to discern that they didn't have the vision.

They didn't have the best interests at heart and ultimately they would have destroyed what he was building. And so you have to have that discernment, which goes back to the mindset, the prayer, and the fasting, to be able to understand who to let in, who not. to let in.

So now once you've involved others, How do you keep them going with you? How do you keep going yourself? Well, the first thing you've got to do is you've got to really celebrate the wins. You've got to look at [00:16:00] those daily activities. Hey, I did this today, or if you didn't do it that day, look back at the previous week.

Okay. I did it X amount of times this previous week. Hey. That's a bonus. That's great. That's better than where I was before I started this whole project. Yes. It's not perfection. Yes. It's not exactly where I want to be, but it's a win. It's a movement. forward. You see when we don't celebrate the small wins along the way. We become more likely to suffer from that arrival fallacy that we talked about earlier, that arrival fallacy that says, ah, that doesn't really matter because you haven't accomplished the big thing. That arrival fallacy that puts so much importance on the ultimate vision and goal that it negates everything that could have been [00:17:00] accomplished along. The way. So when you are able to celebrate those wins, when you take time to pause and look back and realize where you started and where you've come from, that is going to help continue that resolve, continue to push you forward. Yes.

It may not have occurred in the time that you put forth, because maybe you weren't realistic enough with it. Maybe it just truly wasn't attainable. But. If you continue to look at where you were and where you are, you will continue to move forward. Especially, if you look at there is separation, it may be this much separation, or it may be a mile wide, but there is some separation.

And so focus on that aspect that you're moving forward and that you're having the right people come along with you. To help you realize that [00:18:00] and celebrate those wins. And then finally you want to be generous with yourself and with others. And so you want to be generous with yourself in those days in which you don't get those daily tasks done, you don't check off , the weekly or monthly, or even that quarter, maybe didn't hit the goal. Or the desired outcome, or didn't have the participation that you wanted with it.

You've got to be generous with yourself because when you deal in resolutions that are just absolute and that's all, this is where you're going to fail. This is where that idea comes in, that says up. Well, you know, I've already messed up. I've already eaten a piece of pie. As well, just go hog wild.

And so now you've eaten a whole pie. Okay. Or, you know, oh , I'm missing my workout today. I might as well just stop working out. [00:19:00] So this is where. Being generous with yourself, giving yourself grace is really going to allow you to move forward. You see, we see this with Nehemiah. He. On his own dime was feeding about 500 people a day. He was generous with them.

He was generous with himself. He did not try to ask anyone else to do something that he wasn't willing to do. And so you've got to be generous with yourself and generous with those people that are coming. With you and you want to also look for that generosity of spirit in those people that are coming with you. Not that they're just gonna whitewash everything and tell you, oh, that's okay.

It doesn't matter. You can do that. You want them to generously? Give you a kick in the butt that you need to move forward. You want to be [00:20:00] really generous in your idea about what success is? Last time I checked, there was nobody that was ever perfect.

Except one. So. Keeping this mindset. We know that there are going to be times that things are out of our control. So take, , holidays. Weddings big gatherings. Things like that. If you're thinking from a food perspective or say a workout perspective where you're at another person's home , or your traveling, things like that, you're going to be out of a routine.

Okay. So be generous with yourself, practicing an 80, 20 or 90 10 rule. Is much better than just throwing everything out the window when you aren't able to check the box on every single thing for that day or that week or that month, or that quarter. And so really having that [00:21:00] idea that, Perfection. It is not meant to be attained right.

Okay. So having this idea that you have to be perfect, that you have to do every single thing on the list and tick the box is not helpful. It will create internal distress, decrease your resolve and cause you to not move forward with your. Your vision.

When we think about this, we know that there's a season for everything in life. Our seasonal changes. in weather. There are seasons just in our physical maturation from infant to walking, to talking to now able to care for yourself to being an adult and providing for others.

There are seasons in life that. Are meant to be there. And so you are meant to [00:22:00] have seasons where you are feasting where you are really celebrating and maybe you are going off the quote diet for that period of time. Whether it. be a meal, whether it be a day. Whatever the case is .

So you need to be generous with yourself and in your planning. Plan that there are going to be times and seasons, hopefully short that are going to. Help with that whole process , and help you propel forward because hopefully you're celebrating with those people that you're involving. So let's just recap real quick one.

You got to get the vision, the big vision. Okay. If you don't have that big vision, but have an idea. Continue to pray and fast and do the things plan. The things that you know are going to be helpful. And the place to [00:23:00] start after you've gotten the vision after you've gotten the go. Is to really start implementing those plans. But if you don't have that big vision, if you're still in the cup bearer stage, like Nehemiah was in, and you're seeing that is the vision for right now in your life, move forward with the two principles of mindset and spirit. In that area. To create that resolve to be the best that you can at the place that you are now. And then implement those plans on a daily basis, broken down into quarterly, monthly, weekly, and daily activities. And that will help to move you forward in those goals, no matter where you are, but then don't forget to involve others and involve the right others.

Make sure they're not going to be that hindrance. And celebrate those wins [00:24:00] that occur along the way. And be generous with yourself. Plan for seasons plan for times of rest plan for times of renewal plan for times of celebration. So I hope this has been beneficial to you today. And if you ever want to learn more. You can come to our website at livelifewellclinic.com and we'd be happy to meet with you and see how we can help partner with you. Maybe we are one of those others that you need to involve. And if so, we would love to do that. Thanks. And God bless.

That's it for this episode of the Living Life Well Show. If you like what you've heard and want to learn more, or want to know how to put this into practice for yourself, go to livelifewellclinic.com. Until next time, this is Dr. Jon Skelton saying, go [00:25:00] out and live the truth so you can live life well. The preceding is for entertainment and educational purposes only. It is not meant to be used to prevent, diagnose, treat, or cure any condition. The information contained in this show does not substitute the need for a qualified medical professional, nor is it meant to provide medical advice or services.

If you feel information presented in this show may apply to you, we recommend you seek out the help of a qualified medical professional who can evaluate and treat your specific concerns.

Episode 7, Part 2 of The Living Life Well Show: Resolutions, Goals, and BHAGS???

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